These past few days, almost a week, was a weird one. I had been feeling very sad, but couldn’t pinpoint why, but I went within & allowed myself to feel it all. At least that’s what I thought I was doing. Then two or three days ago I noticed that I was overeating. Recently I’ve been more present than ever & I observe myself going through the process from a “higher” or different perspective. It’s still fairly new, so I don’t know how to describe it to anyone else just yet. Well, here’s a friend’s analogy that just came to mind. It’s like I’m watching myself in Sims.
The overeating was a sure sign that I was distracting myself from something. But what could it be… I didn’t judge the state I was in, but also knew that it was time to do the work. I realised that I feared what would reveal itself when I would venture deeper within. Everything fell into place. Rivash had to work late, so I had an opportunity to choose differently. I chose to go even deeper. I lit a candle, grounded & protected myself & asked for guidance. Then I started to write. At first, I wasn’t sure where to start, so I just started. And as I started, one word followed another. Soon the words & tears started pouring out of me. It came through what the sadness was all about. It was about loss. I never grieved some of my Ancestors I never had the opportunity to meet while they were in their human incarnations. People that I would have loved to meet, but mentally understood why it was for my, & everyone’s highest good that they leave their human bodies just before I was born. I had heard all these amazing stories of how wonderful they were. In my 30’s I was introduced (actually re-introduced) to two of these amazing souls and recently two more. I feel honoured that I get to work with these beautiful souls and that they are my Ancestors. However, there was an aspect of me that I had denied. The little girl that never got to experience the physical presence of these beings. I needed to allow myself the time & space to grieve. I have so much love for my amazing Ancestors.
Also, as someone who was born into the Apartheid regime, my ancestral identity was a mystery because of circumstances. I was lost & torn for a very long time. Now I know that I have all the information available to me from the spirit realm. Whatever is for my highest good will reveal itself at the perfect time. I am deeply grateful for this life… for every breath. There’s a gift in every moment.
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